just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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