I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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