Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
