This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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