I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Its about making memories worth repressing
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
