Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
