Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
