How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
it's like iHOP with fire
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
