When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
