break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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