I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize