I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I have fence marks all over my body
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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