the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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