Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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