That's intense
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
