I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
