is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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