Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
