new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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