Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
