I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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