no, he came in my armpit
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
