Too much gin, very little bucket
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
