I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
