i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm just crazy horny about you
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Those nachos came to me in a dream
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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