Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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