This girl is more easily done than said...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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