alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you win again, gameday.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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