Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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