Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
