Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
