Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
