In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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