You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
