did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
whose parrot is this?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
