walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
