But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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