I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
handjob tips. give me some.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
