Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
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We are two peas in an std pod
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
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I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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