I wish I could teleport
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize