You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
