If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Girls should come with a carfax report
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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