I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
