Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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