Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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