Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
