i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
