it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I wear drunk well.
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