so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
