Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It was confusing and full of hummus
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
