so that wasnt chicken after all
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
