I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
