ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
