It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
