My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
