Swine flu. Run for my life!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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