No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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