I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think i peed on brittanys purse
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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