i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
whose parrot is this?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
