your room smells of hookers.
And success
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
