I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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