and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
