Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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