Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
