I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
