That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
