Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize